No Beaks: The End?

Best Job Ever...

For those youngsters out there staring down the enormous implication of college debt, here is a suggestion for a career that will cost little and be very lucrative and stress free. 
Dump Truck Driver...   These guys have been sitting in front of our place for the past week and a half.  They pull up and sit around for about an hour or so...  pick up a pile from the sewer mess that is being fixed and drive away.  I've counted that each driver takes about 2 or 3 loads a day.  Most of their time is spent sitting in their trucks listening to the radio and talking on the phone.

The job is right up there with Jimmy John's employee which from my experience is the only place your allowed to work stoned ALL DAY!

It is also on par with professional sports coach, where you can get away with some of the worst coaching moves ever and simply by just making the playoffs or having a winning record, still keep your job every year i.e. Ozzie Guillen, Lou Pinella and Lovie Smith.

I have nothing to say... Except this.

After this weekend in sports, I'm considering a change of allegiances for my major sports franchises. 

How liberating would it be to become a regular bandwagon fan? 

Go Phillies?  Rays?  How about those Cardinals?

I don't know if I could do it?  But maybe I should try...  it would make these weekends a bit more enjoyable.  Don't you think?

Anyway, as for the economy, I recently realized that this Dow thing decreasing was actually the Dow and not DOW, which really puts thing into a better perspective.  To be honest...  I still don't understand anything about it.  Squad explains it better here.  But can you really take the word of a person questioning the meaty goodness of a bratwurst?  No...  me neither.

In the coming months I predict that Warren Buffet will own the entire country.  The Star Spangled Banner will be replaced with the singing of Cheeseburger in Paradise.  Barack Obama will win the Presidency, only to quit after three months due to lack of interest.   Also, the Sox will sign Jose Canseco to do their radio with Ed Farmer.  Lastly, I think the switch to Digital TV will render the country useless.

Have a good week everybody!

Who's Depressed?

As one who has done their fair share of study in history...  I find it necessary to stand up and tell you all that there will not be some Great Depression that starts on Monday.  If the government does something or doesn't do something there will be no "day" where we are all out of jobs and living in vans down by the river.

The Great Depression is often described as something that started on Black Tuesday, or a day on Wall Street where stock prices fell dramatically.  This did not create the Great Depression.  In fact no one event created the Great Depression.  It was actually a multitude of economic, political, social and environmental factors which led to an economic downturn for a large number of people around the world...

And that last part is the key word...  world.  The Great Depression actually started because of the economic problems of overproduction that resulted from WWI.  While Europe suffered from a debilitating war economically, the US continued to produce and produce and produce due to deregulation of industry.  To deal with the lack of markets to sell in, the companies laid off workers to keep profits up.  This hurt them even more, because the people they laid off were the only ones buying their products.  The government reacted by passing tariffs and taxing foreign made goods.  This hurt competition in the market place and companies laid off more workers.  Thus, unemployment hit an all time high in the urban industrial areas.

Then...  the unemployment hit the west when the largest drought in recorded history hit the Midwest, creating what is called the Dust Bowl.  While many think this country's power is in their industrial might, the truth is that it lies in its agricultural production.  We are one of the largest producers of wheat and corn in the world.  At the time of the Great Depression...  it was pretty much just us.  When the drought led to a mass downturn in production of crops, farmers lost their land to the banks, the banks sold off parcels to large scale mega- farmers and the rest is history....

So you see...  it takes more than a few financial institutions failing to create a Great Depression.  It usually takes part lack of governmental regulation, which we do have in this economic downturn, and part mother nature, which we haven't had yet, unless you ask Al Gore. 

The government stepping in is not going to fix it or make it better right away, no matter how they step in.  However, what is for you to decide is whether how they step in is good for the America people.  I'm not a fan of the government taking over control of foreclosed homes.  What will they do with these homes?  Re-sell them?  Build parking ramps? 

Anyway, be less scared about a Great Depression happening and more scared about what the government is going to get control of as a result of American fear over a possible Great Depression.  They are probably going to get more control over the economy, and it's usually you and I that lose out when that happens.  And that is simple bipartisan truth...

Who are Anonymous?

Have you heard about these protesters to everything Scientology?  Now I've had my own stabs at Scientology in the past, but these people seem a little too much into being anti-Scientology...  Case in point.

The Speak-N-Spell voice really has an impact on that video.  But why Scientology?  Not fans of Top Gun...  I guess.  And that movie alone is why I give Tom Cruise a pass on the whole thing.

Anyway, now Anonymous has wielded their protesting ways at Sara Palin by hacking into her private email. Inside they found several recipes for Moose Pie, several email news updates from NHL.com and a welcome evite from Planned Parenthood Anchorage!

Good one right...  just like my other joke, McCain is going to lead us in the White House?  He couldn't even get out of a wood box in Vietnam...  how is he going to get us out of this economy?!?!?

I might have to keep working on that one...

Later!

Intriguing Ideas

Here are some things I've been thinking about over the last few days...

I think Sarah Palin is the anti-Christ.

There are many different ways one can tell somebody to wash your car and not get the intended result.

Jewish people are usually much funnier than Catholics or others who believe in Jesus.

The Army is much tougher than the Navy.

If you tell jokes and people are laughing, that's much better than telling no jokes.  But if you're telling jokes and nobody is laughing, it's probably better to just shut up.

My boss talks A LOT and never makes sense.

Meetings were created to make anybody's life seem MUCH better than at work!

Babies really don't change your life that much...  I mean not for the worse, only the better.

That's it...  have a good hump day.

City Streets and Sewers

Ever since the sink hole of in January that occurred on Montrose Ave between Wolcott and Ravenswood...  things have not been right on this street.
Off and on throughout the year, people have been working in the sewers.  Also, a reliable source informed me that the old and out of date condition of these drainage pipes will be keeping Chicago's Streets and San busy for the rest of the year.  Apparently, as they work on one section and replace it...  the air which enters the drainage area crumbles the ancient brick making it collapse for another several hundred feet.  The result is that Montrose is under construction between Damen and Ashland...  again! 

Now here is where it gets interesting...  and documented!

In the Flood of '07 we got about a foot of water in our basement.  During another bad rain that summer we got a couple inches.  It wasn't as bad but then came the Flood of '08!  We were not home but found out that a storm and amount of water equaling that of '07 flooded the basement again... 

So a strong storm floods us in the summer of '07, the drainage collapses and sinks an entire part of a street in the winter of '08.  For all of '08 the sewers and/or drainage pipes have been worked on and again we get a major flood this summer. 

The way I see it...  this is the fault of the city and they should be cleaning out my basement each time it floods.  Or just another reason why living in the city can suck really bad!

Tomorrow...  we'll talk about the Olympics, but in the meantime check out the battle between China and the US on the baseball field last night.  Legends Jim Lefebvre and Davey Johnson squared off in a classic ass whoopin!  Check out the highlights on the right side of the page!

Cellphones Are Killing Us

So they say it isn't real now...  but kind of freaky right?

Neighborhood Tales

You may remember a story long about about our neighbor who we refer to as Johnny Grass Seed.  If not check out this previous post...

He has now become part of the trio we call the Grasssseeds, there is Mrs. Grassseed, a new baby Grassseed and of course Johnny.  Johnny lives in infamy as a douche.  Mrs and the baby are on good terms as decent people...  but that is up for discussion.

Since the last post when Johnny yelled at us for being loud, we've really taken things down a notch.  Which isn't to say we were too loud in the past...  I mean we've never held a kegger or any other type of big time party here, those were all at good ol' 1856.  But anyway, with the birth and prenatal care of the Lil' Boss, keggers and parties were especially on hiatus.

Moving on to the Spring of '08...  As a result of our quitting smoking there was much less reason to be on the deck during the cold Chicago winters, therefore, we saw little of the Grassseeds.  But as winter thawed, I noticed that the Grassseeds seemed to be carrying around a baby!  This, of course, was big time news because A) We are nosy neighbors and B) we didn't think they were married or at least the Boss didn't.

Then, one day in the Spring we came across the Grassseed family whilst walking Bascom (I'll post more on this pet peeve "Parents Walking Their Children in Strollers" later.  I mean, would you normally just walk around the block on a nice day by yourself or are you literally walking your child like it's a dog?  I mean we have a dog, it's normal to walk a dog and bring the child with, not the other way around!).  Anyway, since the Grassseeds enjoy walking their child and we have to walk the dog, we at times have crossed paths.  Since they are neighbors, the friendly pleasantries are passed along between one another.  The truth is that the Boss talks to them, if it was me, I'd just say hi and keep walking.  And now it brings me to the point of this tale...  I convinced the Boss she should invite them over for dinner sometime!  And she agreed! 

But...  it hasn't happened yet.  I'm fairly convinced that she wants to invite them over just to get a better understanding of the craziness that seems to consume Johnny Grassseed.  Take for instance...

We walk past the trio with our quartet a week ago in front of the condo and of course we stop to ogle each others child to privately see which is cuter (ours of course).  While Mrs. and the Boss talk about diapers or some other nonsense, Johnny mentions some graffiti on the building across the street...  To make a long story short, this led to a discussion about crime and gangsters and criminal activity around the neighborhood and how he has called the police several times for suspicious behavior like a man going into his trash can!  Yeah...  that's what I thought.  Crazy bastard!

Anyway...  We'll keep you posted about the dinner and whether it ever happens.

Chicken Dance...

Disgusting...

Why Xenophobia Works!

I just want to let you know that some teacher in the school system I work are bat shit crazy.  I sat in the teacher computer room last week and overheard a conversation between an African American woman in her late 50's early 60's speaking to a white man in his 50's which basically boiled down to the following:

The African American woman made it clear that due to her experiences in the South in the late 60's, ALL whites were racist and evil.  That all races were different and held there own "ways" which made it necessary for them to stay separate.  She also believed that whites had their own talents which is why they are able to read books better than blacks.  She then to continued to blame the Jews for all the problems in the world and why Barack Obama has been attacked by the media.  And just to round things off...  said that homosexuals are evil and disgusting and will never make it to heaven.

The man in question agreed with every statement especially on the points of the Jews and homosexuals.

At one point the woman did make mention to apologize to me if I happened to be offended.  I just acted like I was not listening.  Then, in conclusion she proclaimed that she only believed and thought what the Bible and Jesus taught her and that would get her to heaven which made her free and calm. 

Amen!

It's going to be a bitch when she's standing in line at the pearly gates with a gay white man in front of her and a Jew to her rear...  but anyway.

I just wanted to describe this situation to explain how sometimes the kids are better informed and smarter than the adults...  not often, but sometimes.  Those that aren't are the ones listening to veteran educators like this.  It's too bad...  but the truth.