No Beaks: The End?

Some News and Notes... After a week of parenthood.

Things are well after a week of parenthood but some issues have arisen over the past few days.  First of all...  the Lil' Boss seems very reluctant to poop, which is odd considering that her parents, namely her father, is a big time pooper from way back.  That is until we shoved a suppository up her pooter last night...  and well the geyser she did blow!  Without getting into details...  there were some after explosions following the initial discovery of mineral deposits.  It was quite a show.

Secondly, we had a major issue with Bascom the Wonderdog on Monday.  After returning from the kennel due to the Lil' Boss' arrival, she started coughing on Monday and by Tuesday was listless and glassy eyed.  When I asked if she wanted a treat...  she didn't even move.  At that point, we knew something was up.  We made a trip to the vet and discovered that she caught the dog flu or canine influenza that has hit the Chicagoland area over the last few months.  The "cough" was a sign of the serious strain that gestates into pneumonia.  However, after a day of antibiotics and iv fluids at the hospital, her temperature broke and was allowed to come home.  Her temperature was gone by Tuesday, but she is now on a two week routine of 6 pills a day...  which she loves! 

This all went over well yesterday as the Lil' Boss was geysering poop and the Boss and I spent an hour or so getting Bascom to swallow three pills, one of which is the size of a Tums!  Peanut butter shoved into the back of the throat eventually did the trick...  and breaking up the big pill and hiding the pieces and two others in a glob of wet food worked today, but she seems to catch on to our tricks and won't eat them if she thinks we're giving her the pills.  Yesterday morning she ate ALL of the wet and dry food mixture we gave EXCEPT two of the pills!  That's what led to the peanut butter force it... 

In other news...  word is that the Rooster is finally heaving ho in Texas and coming back to Chicago. 

That's all for now!

These are the days... launch of: Lil' Boss Blog

Hello...  my name is the Lil' Boss.  I was born on June 19th, at 7:19 pm.  My mommie, the Boss, was induced in the morning and I came that night.  It only took her an hour to push because she was so curious and excited to meet me!  And now here I am...  all 8lbs 8 oz and 22 inches of me! 

So far...  it has been quite a weekend.  My Mimi and Grandpop BM came to see me just an hour after I was born.  Then, on Friday all my Grandparents visited my mommie, daddie and I at the hospital.  Mima and Big W were there about 11 am...  and Big W held me!  It was a fun day.

I spent the rest of the weekend learning about my new home, my big sister dog Bascom and sleeping.  I did some crying but not much.  I mostly just make squeaking noises and looking around at all the weird things in this new world.  Oh...  and sucking on my hands and my mommie's boobs cause that's how I eat!

Today I went to my first doctor's appointment and passed with flying colors.  Despite eating a ton I've even lost some weight.  That shows you how healthy that breast milk is...  doesn't it?

Anyway...  I'm here to say hi and show you my favorite picture of the million gazillion my daddie and Grandpop BM have taken of me!  Also...  I want you to check out my new blog where you can find my many pictures and some of my thoughts of the days I'm here in the world (or at least what my daddie writes cause I can't type yet)!  Check it out at:  http://nobeaks.typepad.com/lilboss/  The user name is my "real" first name and the password is my last name.  If you don't know what that is...  too bad, I may not want you to visit anyway!  I'm just kidding...  if you want to know, just email my daddie or his friends like Rooster, Domb Squad or Manny or even him and they'll tell you!

See you there!

Today is the Last Day before the First Day of the Rest of Your Life...

Great title for a movie...  right?

So...  at about this time tomorrow the Boss and I will be beginning the First Day of the Rest of Our Life as parents.  It is ominous, scary and exciting all at the same time. 

Becoming a father is odd...  I mean I have no experience in this matter.  At all!  The only support or help I can draw from is my own dad, who never had a daughter, and the Rooster...  So that pretty much makes it all me.  I've looked at the books and read online and I guess it's now or never. 

Therefore, if you don't hear from me in a few days...  I'm off being a dad.  I'll try to get back to you all as soon as I can!

Talk to you later.

Summer of Art Season 4: The W's Summer Off

Today is officially the start of the Summer of Art Season 4...  this season is special for a couple reasons.  First, the Boss will be joining me and Bascom this summer on what we call a veee-cation.  Also, soon, we should be joined by the Lil' Boss.  Any day now...  seriously ANY DAY.  And you can stop calling to ask...  we'll tell you when she comes.  Seriously!

So far we've spent three straight days in some very gorgeous weather down at the dog beach and relaxing around the house.  We did head to the Old Town Art Fair for a spell on Saturday, which about wiped out the Boss, but had a great time nonethless. 

On Sunday the Boss tried to feed me guvbement (that's government pronounced GUB-A-MENT) cheese.  She made hot ham and cheese sandwiches for lunch, putting the sharp cheddar deli cheese on her sandwich and the plastic wrapped guvbement cheese on mine.  She didn't think I'd notice the difference...  but I did.  I'm from Wisconsin...  if there is one thing we notice it's subpar cheese along with beer and bratwurst.  I called her on it...  and trust it won't happen again!

Today we ventured down to the dog beach and hung out in my "spot" for a couple hours...  and the Boss met her new BFF riding on her bike pictured below!  If you can zoom in close enough...  that is an older Mexican woman riding a bike wearing a sombrero!  Which I think wins some sort of contest somewhere...

Alas...  let the Summer of Art Season 4:  The W's Summer Off  BEGIN!!!

Friday Questions...?

Where is the Lil' Boss?  What is she doing in there?  She is only a day late...  but that is very un-W of her already!  W's are usually always on time and often even early!  Anyway, the Boss is either having her over the next six days or will be induced next Thursday...  so we'll definitely see her then.  So...  till then it's just sit here and wait until she arrives.  Have a weekend!

Sparing the Details with Squad.

Good Morning Friends,

I don't know what's going on.  I had this fucking crazy dream last night that I'm convinced was "The Happening." Starring Mark Wahlberg & Zooey Dechanel.  I'll spare you the details.

I've been in an ongoing eBay dispute with some dump of a golf shop in North Carolina regarding my mailing address and their ZIP code requirement.  I just don't give out that information.  I'll spare you the details.

Thursday's are tough to blog at work because I'm required to deliver payroll to various locations, and I spend much of the day in the car.  I think I broke my personal best ripping 12 heaters last Thursday.  I'll spare you the details. 

Speaking of work, I interviewed a guy last Tuesday and midway through the interview he drops the "homeless bomb."  Blah, blah, blah my wife this, my lawsuit against my former employer that...  Suffice to say, I asked him to spare me the details.

A guy came to the door yesterday looking to raise money for some local orphanage or what have you.  Selling magazines seems to be a mutually beneficial type-deal.  I re-upped my ESPN magazine subscription, finally got on the Popular Science bandwagon and some other one I can't remember at the moment.  He said that there's a discount if you go with 4, and made a couple of suggestions.  I said, I'll take the three I'm already in for, spare me Details. 

OK, that last one was a long way to go to get to a Details magazine joke, but I'm not going to apologize.

I guess I'm feeling pretty good about myself what with all the recent goings-on on the Real World Hollywood.  Boy, last nights episode was a tear jerker.  I love the joke at the end of the "good-bye letter" when the guy ties back in the Hulkamania reference at the end.  That didn't get any laughs from the assembled roommates.  Is it just me or does Brianna look like a transvestite? 

Gotta go. 

Why Xenophobia Works!

I just want to let you know that some teacher in the school system I work are bat shit crazy.  I sat in the teacher computer room last week and overheard a conversation between an African American woman in her late 50's early 60's speaking to a white man in his 50's which basically boiled down to the following:

The African American woman made it clear that due to her experiences in the South in the late 60's, ALL whites were racist and evil.  That all races were different and held there own "ways" which made it necessary for them to stay separate.  She also believed that whites had their own talents which is why they are able to read books better than blacks.  She then to continued to blame the Jews for all the problems in the world and why Barack Obama has been attacked by the media.  And just to round things off...  said that homosexuals are evil and disgusting and will never make it to heaven.

The man in question agreed with every statement especially on the points of the Jews and homosexuals.

At one point the woman did make mention to apologize to me if I happened to be offended.  I just acted like I was not listening.  Then, in conclusion she proclaimed that she only believed and thought what the Bible and Jesus taught her and that would get her to heaven which made her free and calm. 

Amen!

It's going to be a bitch when she's standing in line at the pearly gates with a gay white man in front of her and a Jew to her rear...  but anyway.

I just wanted to describe this situation to explain how sometimes the kids are better informed and smarter than the adults...  not often, but sometimes.  Those that aren't are the ones listening to veteran educators like this.  It's too bad...  but the truth.

To Vegas

 I made it to Vegas in February of 1971...  just about the same time the 101st was rearing up to attack Cambodia and Laos and the Vietnamization bullshit was at its full swing.  Nixon!  What a fucker...  Anyway, I was supposed to be a part of it...  but when my furlough came, I jumped on a chopper to Saigon and greased some palms to get to Hawaii.  I stashed my uniform, used whatever cash I had to get on a flight to LA and here I am, heading to the city of lights.  Now...  I guess I'm a criminal for running away from being a killer.  The irony!

So I said that while I was writing this I had no legs...  didn't lose those in 'Nam, just 'almost' lost my balls.  I never took a hit or nothin' in 'Nam.  The guys used to say that Charlie couldn't see me through their slanty eyes cause I was too skinny.  I don't think Jesus had anything to do with it...  so maybe they were right.  Whatever the case, I was home without a scratch.  It was at home that I'd earn the most physical pain.

On the Greyhound to Vegas I sat next to this older lady who smelled like cats and gin.  She was nice and shared some gin with me.  She asked why I wasn't in 'Nam, cause it seemed like most nice young guys like me were in 'Nam these days.  I told her I had skinny feet and the government kept me home cause they were afraid I'd fall into a jungle crevice and be unable to come out and fight.  She laughed and we took another couple of sips of gin.  I didn't ask her many questions...  but the more gin I had, the younger she looked.  About an hour outside of Vegas, I had my only relations with a woman in nearly 6 years.

In Vegas, I left the drunk cat lady with a hand shake and headed to the strip.  Back then...  it wasn't as lit up as it is today.  There were just a spattering of hotels, casinos and restaurants.  The mob had its teeth in Vegas pretty hard core at this point...  I was just a visitor looking for a mother, her sleazy repair man boyfriend and a place to stay.  I found all three at the Oasis in North Vegas. 

It was a trailer park...  they were passed out drunk when I showed up.

For those of you that didn't know...

The White Sox basically tore up the horsehide this weekend.  Joe Crede had something like 4 home runs with a gazzillion rbi.  The pitching staff gave up 10 runs to the Twins but the offense hung a total of 33 runs in three days.  It was pretty sweet.  And now we have a 5.5 game lead over Minnesota in the Central. 

In other news...  still no baby.  But I do have this for you to watch.  It's a little short I made about Bassie the Wonderdog!

Friday Questions...

So...  when will the Lil' Boss arrive?  Here are your choices compiled...

The Good German June 7th

Furious June 9th

Rooster  June 13th

Mr. W June 15th  in the early am

Mom W said the 15th too...  but then settled on the 16th. 

Big W also said the 15th...  we'll give him the 17th.

Domb June 18th

Manny...  Franc? says the 21st and even went as far to predict that she'll be just shy of a 10 lb bowling ball at 8 lbs, 3 oz.

Anybody else interested in taking a guess...  the pot is up to 80 bucks!

In other news...  there was quite a brawl in Boston last night!  How many of us have wished from time to time to do this to Coco Crisp!?!?  Check out the video here. The video shows that James Shields came up empty with the right hook, but the rest of the Rays jumped in on a gang bang of Crisp.